dont bother reading

i dont know if anyone notice, i got fatter after my one week break.

it's not about going home for a week, so i got nice meals for that one week.
it's about my compulsive eating which appears somewhere at the end of that one week and also this week.

for example, tuesday. i bought lots of yong tau fu for breakfast. before that i already had milo at home cause i know i wont be eating till after class. then i also bought sandwich. then nuggets after class. and also chipsmore while waiting for the class to start.

these days, i find myself craving for food. even though i am not hungry and am very aware of it, i still find myself munching and eating because i felt like it. this is baaaad. this has to stop but it's kinda difficult. hmmph.

for example, at home, towards the end of my holiday, i find myself sneaking a bidor biscuit to my room, eat it and that's the end of story. there's another night where i was downstairs taking my water and all before i go to my room, i somehow went to take two slices of wholemeal bread and brought it to the room.

it's something that i would do when i feel stressed. i would eat. and sometimes eating without realising it.

i have no class today. what did i do?

breakfast was simple. biscuits and milo.
then after two hours, i felt hungry and went to cook cintan asam laksa with an egg.
then i had half soya bean milk which i left in the fridge the other night.
and also occasionally some pineapple tarts when i feel sleepy.
at night, i had another instand noodles in cup. and somemore pineapple tarts and dodol.

i tried studying. the house is dark so i opened the door for the air and light to come in.
i started with piaget's theory. and ended with piaget's theory. yes, i fell asleep even before the 4th level.
i woke up because of my neighbour's loud bitchy voice. so noisy. so i closed all the doors and curtains and back to sleep. shiet.

now i want to go eat milo and biscuit again. yes, it's 11.11pm.

sigh. have craving for food for no reason lately.

i want to eat laksa. the real laksa, not the maggi laksa.
i want to eat char koat teow.
i want to eat bak kut teh. let's go klang. anyone knoes the way?
i want to eat yong tau fu. wtf i like all the fried stuff that's why.
i want to eat cheese cake. gosh mouth watering edi at this point.
i wnat to eat maggi.
i want to eat eggs.
i want to eat sandwich.
i want to eat kfc.
i want to eat nuggets.

for real. (now you know how ... how ... compulsive i am at this difficult moment.)


ps: i think i owe someone an apology. sorry.