ke-dulan-an

I feel very du lan lo today.

Du lan bout everything.

Stupid traffic jam.

Thought wanna go back sleep for a while.

But then some of the alarms ring every 5 minutes.

So cant sleep at all.

By the time I am able to close my eyes, my own alarm ring again…

Then went back to face the jam again.

I thought by that time, it wont be that jam anymore.

I was so damn wrong.

Still that jam but not as jam as morning.

Suan lar.

Memang late already.

Don’t wan go back already.

Then sampai class damn late. But not as late as tiff for econs class.

And.. today econs… me alone for most of the time..

Walaoeh

Very boring wan lei…

And then, back already…

Went to giant to grab something to eat…

Walaoeh… only two counters open… and those malays… wanna raya edi…

Buy so many things…

What the.

And I sms someone who I never sms before.

And guess what..

SHE NEVER REPLIED!!!

What the…

TWO SMS!!

TWO sms u know ah…

What the…

One before I sleep.. and then the other one after I wake up..

Shiet lar…

I so hate when people never reply me when I feel bored/dulan or when I ask something that is kinda important lor…

After wake up from sleep, turn on my lappie and then start to mess with itunes.

What the hell…

Copy all the song from my external harddisk and delete the songs from my comp.. cause I copied it in the itunes edi..

Then I turn on again after my dinner…

What the helll….

All the songs cant play..

Apparently, I need to do something…

So I deleted the whole list…

1190 plus songs and start all over again…

This time, I did the right thing.

But then…. This message come out…

“copying music failed. The file name is either invalid or too long”

What the!!!

There’s nothing wrong with the files ok…

I’m so damn DU LAN right now lor

today.........

Slept at like 12 something n woke up at 4am this morning to 'study' for IT.
wtf.
cudnt study at all...
so went back to sleep at 6am.
Don’t ask what I did in that 2 hrs.
Time wasting to be exact.
Then I heard some noise. At first I thought it was the dog. Wonder why the stupid dog howl / bark so damn early in the morning. Then, I realise it wasn’t the dog. It was the ‘morning call’….

=)

to be continued... its getting late..

i set the alarm at 6.30 this morning.. but when i wake up, it says 7.25am at the phone.
i thought my phone rosak edi cause i drop it quiet a few times last night for some reasons..
ans then, i open the room door, and saw my dad, eating...
hmm... then must be me OVERSLEPT...
close de door again and went back to sleep...
usually i go to coll at 7.15am... today already so late..
by the time i reach coll it will be like...
8 something?? mayb 9...
class also over e lar.. go for what..
then, thought i wanna stay home for the whole day..
but...
kinda feel guilty cause i skip the same class twice edi this weekk..
so, went in the afternoon lor..
cilaka betul..
i damn hate afternoon class lar..
she wont teach also wan..
i went into the class.
and she say..." mark ur attendence and you can leave already"
what the F...
i came all the way to just mark attendance???
what the hell....
this is so unfair.. haiz...
so mark attendance, hang around for a while to take back my proposal paper and then...
chao home again...
cei... wasting my time and energy like that...and the toll $$ and the petrol $$...
just for one mark at my attendance list..
CHIT!!!


this week is so stupid..
SO MUCH WORK( all delay from last time wan)
SO LITTLE TIME(spent all my time surfing the net, looking and looking... for i dunno what...the next thing i know... its already dark e...dang...wasting my time doing nonsense...)
tomorrow is the last day to pass up my FINAL DRAFT, MULTIPLIER EFFECT & INTERNATIONAL TRADE AGREEMENT...
wtf... i hate doing all those econs thingy..
i guess the reason i cant concentrate is that..
when i look for information...
it just wont come out...
and all the nonsense tak de kaitan facts come out.. wtf... its all time wasting....

ish.... TRIALS in THREE weeks...
haven started studying...
i'm so dead this time....

classes..

fuh!
went into the Accounting Class just now, and the lecturer stormed in and say,...
"please go to Room300E, we have a test now..its a two hour test..bla bla bla"
wtf! suddenly gt test...
and...now, half the class is now here, in the General Lab, sitting in front of the comp.. =)
heheheh...
there's no way i can complete the test... and its a TWO hour test...
i back out...
*excuses*

oh ya.. had Psychology class before the Accounting's ...
its totally time-wasting lor...
sometimes, i wonder...
why the hell i wake up so damn fucking early in the morning and come here to listen to her...
talking nonsense and something that has nothing to do with my subject at aLL???
today she's doing something called 'the RESEARCH'
what's the research thingy bout?..bout how to get more students to study in this coll...
damn it...
i dun wake up at 6.30AM, went thru the TRAFFIC JAMS, and come here to listen to this kind of CRAP ok??3
damn..i really dun like to come for classes anymore...
esp when its so damn fucking early in the morning wan lor...


now, i am going to do my 3 WEEKS overdue (d) Psychology Essay!

wish me luck..


=)

Monday BLuesss.....

finally, i got my baby lappy ystd at the pc fair in SP(sungai petani, not seberang perai)..
its just a small fair.. but got that quite cheap...
now, I'm afraid whether it's original or ciplak version anot lar...
whatever, waiting for it to arrive..
and I'm expecting something to go way wrong(yes, i really do)...
why??
went to look for lappy... then found one that has everything i wanted..
but then... when asked about what's the operating system, they say, " whatever operating system u want"... hmmm.. sounds fishy.....
then went around to seee and look.. but.... the other brands are ugly and their offer not as good as asus...so i decided to get it...
when i was paying, that Asus sales person told me that the software and the windows they use is the CIPLAK version...
damn it..
then, i told them i want an original version of windows, they seem like reluctant to give it to me for some stupid reason...
trust me, i almost ki siao and shouted in front of those ppl...
damn stupid sales ppl.. lol......
keep telling me its not worth it to get a genuine windows as I'm only a student, not doing a big business, bla bla bla.......
lol... its my damn prinsip ok?
I HATE THE WORD "PIRATED" AND I WONT USE ANYTHING "CIPLAK" UNLESS I DO NOT HAVE ANY CHOICE!
in the end, i have to pay RM300 more just to get a new Windows...
FINE!
" I DONT CARE HOW MUCH I PAY FOR IT AS LONG AS I GET A GENUINE WINDOWS>>"
and then, i said something more harsh...
and those ppl were numb.. chit!!!
lol... lets forget bout those leng chai(s)....


>>>>>fast forward>>>>>

this morning is kinda bored... Cynthia, Yen Loo, Tiff didnt come for the class this morning... so, i am alone... *sob sob*
and then, in the IT class, haiz...
MissV did the capture screen thingy...
for my IT project...
and OMgosh....
i was suppose to be the second person...
but something went wrong with the first person..
so, i am the first person...
and then...
so paiseh lei....
i key in the data into my database, and it didnt work..
*starting to panic***
luckily, she do it again and everything went... just ok..
did some mistake, but that couldnt be re-do....
so.... whatever....
IT project>> ITS OVER!!!

and then, i was signing in to this blog...
then, the college someone came and "lectured" me about me drinking Milo in the IT lab..
hmm... that's my Monday morning..
later, i have to go to econs class...
ALONE...
again....haizzzzzzzz.....
i have a lil phobia to be alone in class...
hmm...
whatever..
hope... *fingers crossed***
she doesn't give any group work later and she'll be teaching... so, i wont be looking around for a group...

the end....

for the record,

I've been sitting in front of this computer for the past freaking 10 hours(no kidding)...

no wonder the seat is BURNING HOT..

i shall finish my parent trap essay tomorrow..

cant recall what actually happen in the camp now...

Good Night!

i couldn't remember whether its yesterday or Monday...
i was driving to coll..
kinda late edi..
cause of that jam on the bridge...
then when i pass tesco, i saw one ang moh guy..
he's trying to find someone to tumpang him..
and then i thought..
could someone be so kind/stupid to tumpang him ??
who knows whether he's a good guy or not?
maybe when he step into the car, then he take out his weapon and it turned out to be a robbery or something?
this is Malaysia, anything can happen...
sometimes, being kind can get u in big trouble..
don't u think so?
hmm... btw... kesian that ang moh fella stand there so long no ppl wanna pick him up..


maybe im just paranoid... but i think this kiasu-isme had been installed in me by what i see or hear or read everyday in the news....

getting tired of ....

.....:::::SKIP THIS PART IF U DUN WAN TO end up scratching ur head, wondering what the hell i talking bout::::.....

I'm starting to get tired of attending Psychology class early in the morning. sometimes, when i enter the class, she wont be doing anything important like teaching. like what happen last week, when we were doing the research on sleep. most of the days when i am in her class, i would be staring at the blank wall and or day dreaming, as she is busy sorting things out. and the class is from Monday to Friday(used to be), now is Monday to Thursday(still not much difference) with each class one hour. one hour is really short period for a class. by the time she came in, it would be bout 15 minutes late. and by the time she turns on the comp and gets everything ready, it'll be like 20 minutes gone. and then, most days, we were let off early, leaving onli bout 30-40 minutes of teaching. i am really tired attending this class. have to wake up extra early compared to the others. and i cant sleep in the car cause i have to drive to college..bout 30 minutes drive if its not jam. but every morning, it'll be jam like hell. cause its the time students go to school, parents go to work, maid go to pasar, and me go to my class. then, that would cost me bout 1 hour drive to my coll..and there was a few times last week, i let my house just a lil late, and i was trap in the damn jam for bout 20-30 minutes and i only reach the college 40 minutes after the class starts. then i sat there for 10 minutes and the class ends edi.. walaoeh... damn lar.. if i am going to be that late, i might as well sleep for one extra hour and save my energy.

..:::::::To Those Who Doesn't Understand What the Crap Shiet Me Talking Above:::::.....

in conclusion, i reallly beh syok early morning go class edi lor...really feel sien lar..everyday life like that wan...

I'm fine. i just wanna complain a lil bit.
=======================
===============================


gone are the days where i stay in the college whole day(from 8am-5pm) and attending classes whole day(sometimes non stop).
nowadays, i would just come back at lunch time or 9am(Wednesday)...
every Monday i skip Economics tutorial...
Tuesday i become good gurl and attend all the classes(8am-4pm non stop)...
Wednesday i skip one hour of Psychology( u cant blame me...what u expect..i have six hours continuous break from 9am-3pm..what u wan me to do there?? i got no choice but go back and sleep. )
Thursday i skip ESL tutorial(every time i go also not many ppl wan...)
Friday i became an angel again(puik!) and attend all the classes.


SIGH!!!!
I KNOW I'M HOPELESS.....
SKIPPING CLASS AND STUFF...
BUT I JUST LOST MY 'DIRECTION'
STARTING TO GET TIRED OF EVERYTHING EDI...
EVERYDAY, ITS JUST THE SAME THING.
HMMM.....MAYBE ITS JUST ME GUA....

have loads to say..
first of all, i got Point Blanc's album, Straight To The Point..
and it is GReat...
i don't usually listen to Rap of whatever song like this...
i DON'T listen to RAP...
but this, for some reason its different..
All the songs are GOOD! seriously.. can you believe that i say a RAP song is good?
before u say, " cei Malaysian ppl sing de song.. where can listen de..."
u ARE SO Wrong if u think that way..
anyway, just wanna say that album, is just so GOOD....
and and... its damn cheap too, compared to a normal ORIGINAL cd price...
onli RM19.90....


what's the reason NOT to get it?


then, went to gurney(lol obviously) and i saw ho chak host!! ( cei...very pa pai meh??)
hahaha.. crap... lol.. they're not important..but i still msg some ppl for fun.. lol

b4 that, went to college for extra accounting class. oh my.. i never knew that Saturday also got so many people in the college wan lor.. the parking all full... but... when we went to the coll, there weren't that many ppl...
and and...tak da elektrik some more lei.. but lucky they provide generator.. if not... sia sia i wake up early and go coll...

next, wtf, its been raining non-stop from dunno when lar..since so long ago.. no im not complaing, just hate it if it rains when im driving...
the roads are slippery, higher chances of accidents to happen..
i cant see anything but blurry blurrr car in front of me, again, higher chances of accidents to happen..
i dun like driving in the rain..
i hate i hate...
so so much..
recap :: last week, i almost knock into a car, cause the road is so damn slippery after one whole night of downpour...i brake e.. i feel that the car has stop moving, but...its still sliding to the front, like a snowboard on ice/snow...
damn scary lar walaoeh....

lastly, talking bout car, i suddenly remembered that i haven washed my cars for weeks... for two weeks or more... everyday rain rain rain... no point washing rite?
waste time nia... so better let de rain wash lar.. eh...then like that ma means.. i wash my car everyday? hahaha....

laaast lassst....
i think i didn't make the wrong decision by not changing back to Malay specialist, after i had accounting for 7 months...
if i go back now, i am inviting trouble for myself..i did it once, dun wanna repeat it again...
and i din say its not a mistake staying in accounting class...
its already a mistake..so just carry on with it lar...
if i change back to Malay, I'll be doing more harm to myself compared to now...
understand??
hm...that's what i thought...



..::..::..::..PS..::..::..::..

wanna wish CONGRATULATIONS to Huey Ping, who got baptized today..
hmm... dunno what to wish tho..to ppl who just got baptised..
anyway, im happy for u!
=p
have a good day!

i need sleeep....

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i've removed the post that has the national antheme in it. cause, no matter how nice and creative and true it is, it is still a disrespect to the country.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
feels like its really long since the last time i blog.. bout a week or so edi...

• last Saturday --> woke up at 5.45am, waiting to get my hands on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. waited till bout 10.30am only went to get it. why? cause my parents and bro were still sleeping.. and then..i lose my patience and went to the room and slam the door which sound like the whole taman can hear it. and then, half an hour later, i was on my way to get my book! as i was waiting, i felt pretty bored.. so early in the morning and nothing much on tv also. so went to buy newspaper... when i read about MPH decided not to sell the book, i almost die of heart attack..=p...and then...*continue reading*...lucky they still sell it to those who pre ordered..walaoeh...if they really dun sell at all...even to those who pre-ordered, i will jump down from Komtar..
• last sunday --> woke up quite early too..tho i slept kind late on Saturday night..i wanna finish reading the book ASAP! hehehe....
• Monday --> extremely tired. after class came back to finish the book. but, i online for a while, and then i went to the room and read the book. i fell asleep very very soon...that proves how tired i am.. so i woke up at very late in the evening..to finish the book...
• Tuesday to Friday --> haven really recovered from the lack of sleep i had on weekends.. am really tired like hell for the whole week..went over to the small island twice on Wednesday. cause i had 6 hours break...cant stand to wait so long there..and then the afternoon class is super important..so..go back sleep and afternoon only go over again lar...the whole week had been super busy...busy like there are no end to it...
• i din feel like today is a Friday.. i dunno why.. feels like today is just Wednesday or Thursday nia...why time past so fast wan??aiyoyo...
• oh ya.. i was late for every early class in the morning for the whole week.. there was one day when i went in 40 minutes late and the class ends 10 minutes after i went in...hehehehe
  
• kinda many ppl going back this weekend for the installation night...i cant go back cause mum working and i have acc class...haiz...
• now, i am so so so tired...have to sleep after finish this piece of crap...
• just wanna crap cause i haven been crapping here for the whole week

now, tata see ya bye bye....
i wanna sleep...

miss lucy say lost sleep cannot be replaced....

First essay-like post...

Back to those when I was in the primary school, or maybe it’s the kindergarten or so, I can’t really remember. I really think that people in the TV could see me. And so is everyone who’s watching it. Yea, I know this sounds stupid. And all the time, when I happen to watch the news, I often wondered. How can they see everyone? I mean. I’m not the only one who’s watching the news. There must be many more others who are watching. Hahahha. That’s my stupid idea.

I came back at 9am this morning with the intention of completing ALL my assignments and study if I could. But, what actually happen is- I sat in front of the computer-reading people’s blog and slept from 12-1pm. That’s how I wasted my time. Then I had lunch and then I am back here in front of the computer again. I told myself I must do something. I look at the IT essay. What is the impact of databases on society? I googled up what is database and finished the first paragraph. Then I am totally clueless of what am I suppose to write more. Then I asked the question in Y!Answers. Then, without realizing, time past so fast and I had yet do finish anything. Now, after blogging this, I shall try and study. Psychology essay is already late, so I think I’ll pass it up next week. IT essay, I have no idea-next Monday I guess. Wasted like one whole week staring at the psychology essay already and I have no idea at all what to do.

Assignments piled up like nobody’s business-like mount Kinabalu. I dare say that in my whole entire life, I have never face so much work before. What makes it worst is mid year examination is just round the corner and I have no time to study at all. Wasted much of my time staring at the essays.

So cham right?? Haiz. Tank is coming to Penang today. 7.30pm at Gurney Plaza and 9.30pm at Halo Café in Juru Auto-City. Can’t go cause its at night. Lol. Besides, I have not much time left.

How I wish I could write just like that for my essays. Can crap all I want. Too bad this isn’t my essay. Tomorrow is another busy day. All this work makes me really tired and bored of doing SAM. Right now, I’m not sure whether the choice to take SAM is right. This is only SAM and I can’t really manage already. What will happen next year? I don’t dare to think of that.

I guess I end here today. Have to go any open the book and hopefully I wont fall asleep like I used to. The two very important essay I shall leave it till tonight. And eventually, it will be left until the very last minute. I doubt I will even get it done by next week.

Bye. Please pray that I can remember whatever I read/studied and not falling asleep after 2 paragraphs. Thanks.

ps: this blog look so different from other post right? most of the words are in full word and not short form. and got capital letter and stuff like that. lol. i shall try to blog like this in future. btw, i changed the template for my blog. im kinda bored with the okd template. wanted something new. but dun have the time to look for it. so here's a simple one. tata!

u noe? i feel like wanna put down everything and just go and hide in one corner.
i dunno why,
but i feel depressed occasionally.
not rarely, not seldom,but occasionally and it happen quite often.
but i recover kinda fast too..
i think...
mostly its during weekends when i totally have nothing to do..
maybe its just mood swings, but i really do feel depressed.
during weekdays, i would have not much time, so i dun think so much.
but during weekends when im not going back to stw, just stay at this stupid place...
i realllly feeel bad..
imagine the mixture of fear, disappointment,frustration,anger,worried,jealousy(yes u read it right) all mixed together...
the kind of feeling..
u just feel like u;re not in this world anymore..
i hate it..
but almost everyweekend, i will feel this way..
this week is not exceptional..
im stuck in this stupid island again for some reason..
saturday home alone for kinda the whole day...
have so much time to think of nonsense..
sunday..
i feel tat this world is so unfair..
i start showing my sour face when we're in pacific..
i felt that im not part of them when we're in the car.
what are they talking about?
anyone care explaing whats happening?
and then..
went to focus point..
mum and bro in the shop.
sat down..
and told de ppl there whats wrong with their specs.
i stood there. waiting for them to finish..
i tot it wont take long.
just a few moments then ok edi..
but i was WRONG!
feel like so left out and i stand there like an idiot..
they were talking as if im not there..
so i went out..
then went in again..
and went out..
then after quite some time,
mum and bro went to look for presents for bro's whoever...
and i followed them./..
and again,... they treat me as if im not there..
dad just stood there and see...lol
then something just hit me and i felt like crying..
its a stupid feeling trust me...
damnit..
so i went to a corner and just sat there watching ppl walk pass by for like half an hour..
i din really cry there...
public place lei..
but on the way home..
in the car..
i cried a lil..
back home..
i went straight to the room and lock myself inside..
and yes, the pillow is all wet..
haiz..
other than that, i realllly miss my frens back home in stw...and those in kl..
i met sp 2 weeks b4..
but..those in taylors..
so so damn long din see them edi lei...


ps: besides i miss stw, i miss my grandparents, i miss my frens, and my kuailan bro that dun really listens to whatever i say and pretty much the whole world thinks that im invincible, and unfair-ness , my life is not bad. lol...

i so damn dead... someone just kill me pls.. dun wanna suffer anymore...

just remembered that i have IT test tomorrow..what the fuck..din buy disket cause i thought still got time...suddenly remember..shit lar..and when i tried to kaji thru de database....suddenly mum saw something on my bro's phone.. and had been naggin non stop till now.. well, stop for a while.. then continue...then stop for a second.. and continue again...shit lar...haiz.....im not upstairs somemore...nad they're behind me somemore...damnit...i pantang ppl raise de voice and scold ppl wan lei....make me takda mood to even see thru the stupdi database also lar...preparing to fail my test tml lar..damn it...now, im just gonna stop and off everything and go to sleep and forget evething that has happen.. i hate my life here... hate it so damn fucking much... if im not here... im sure it'll be better in some ways..
fuck!

now, gonna go to bed and try to sleep..
dunno can sleep anot..worrying bout tml test and also bout what just happen...

i seriously hate this place lar...

wish me luck tml ya... wish i get at least passing marks... cause this time de test consist 10% for my finals...

tata

the very last post of april

i cried to sleep last nite.
i really miss home.
i really hate this place.
i really hate coming here.
i really wanna go home.
-----*
so fast. its end of april edi.
never thought almost half de year gone just like that lor.
after may then its june edi.
june will b the middle of the year and its my mid year exam edi.
when think back.
what have i learnt so far?
am i prepared for the mid year?
no i am not.
i just keep wasting my time everyday.
i stil dun really how to do accounting.
even the basic general journal and general ledger also i dunno do.
and econs..
even if its easier than math,
i still think that i dunt really understand what it really means.
i onli know recession and god knows what else i knows.
and today,
for IT,
miss V gave the work for database.
i dun even know what crap is it.
and she says thats what will come out in practical exam.
i AM SO DEAD!
stil owe her a report on benefits and disadvantages if information system.
i tink i can stil manage psycho gua.
i just need to read whatever thats in the text book rite?
right??
i hope so..
one more month to my mid year.
if i dun do well,
i am so dead.
wx will b leaving for form6 soon, leaving me alone in IT class.
will i manage?
i hope i can.
i shall b independent now.
cant depend on her all my life.
haiz.
this is the end of the fourth month and i am still day dreaming.
i have trouble concentrating.
i have bad memory too.
onli last night i remember that i forgot to attend Economics extra class.
i am so very forgetful.
its on thursday. and i only remember bout it on sunday.
haiz.
i am so so ... speechless..,
i dunno why.
haiz.
thats bad.
i know.
april fool's long gone.
welcome labor day.
welcome MAY.
welcome the other me.
welcome the me who have more confidence wit myself, more dependent on myself and more hardworking.
welcome welcome welcome.

i seriously need to change NOW.
ok ok.
i put aside going back to sitiawan issue till after my mid year.
i will not cry again over silly things.
i will study.
i will try to understand and ask for help even if i dont.
i will ...

i need time

something ran thru my mind just now.

"i am always in my own world.

other people stays in the real world.

but my mind keep drifting to my own world.

i think thats why i day dream alot.

even when i am drving, i think alot.

even when i'm having tests, my mind can simply fly back to MY WORLD!

am i weird?

watever..

in MY WORLD, i do what i wan, i say what i want.

i dun care what other ppl say or think bout me.

none of my business if they are so free."

wakakak...

lol. getting late now.

i am tired.

i am troubled.

i need some rest.

i cant get enough of resting.

i need peace.

i need harmony.

i need sleep.

i need more time.

i dun need traffic jams.

thanks to giant!

lol.

i am so dead.

dead as in killed and sliced and cooked.

i got the assignment bout 3 weeks ago.

but due to my tight schedule(laziness),

i cant do it till this week.

and this week is reallly busy...( its true)

and..

tml is the dateline.

and..

i have written nothing even now.

except for blog..

and..

i NEDD SLEEP!!!

can someone please reming me why i took IT as a subject?

it makes no sense.

haiz..

pray for me..

pray that she wont remember anything bout the IS report tml.

pray that more than half de class din do..

pray that...

she wont kill me...

give me some time..

i need time..