Friday, 17 March 2006


After some consideration, i x jadi nak drop ad math.. haiz.. dunno will regret anot if i drop..and.. if don drop what will happen..

Its again the time of the year where ppl will be really happy or really sad...the results are out..and next year wud be my i felt lots of stress.. im afraid to end up lik the girl who jumps from the third floor of her afraid i;ll be the one next year..yea sure.. u may say or think that nothing is worth dying for.. its just ur result..but the just result, which is shown on a piece of paper,is wat u;ve been working 17 years for.. and it will menentukan ur the way, while i was attending my physics class yesterday,the teacher said that scoring an A is really shows where u are and ur standard..can u imagine that the words came out of a teacher’s mouth? No wonder the girl choose to jump from the third floor..pressure is all around you..when u get straight A’s, people just go to u and say .. wow how did u do it. Im so impressed ..blah blah blah... wats the big deal? Is the grades so important? A person can really score 16 1A but his or her attitude towards the elders is unacceptable..thats wat malaysians have become..rude malaysians, don have respect to the wanna go much into that..the second thing that the teacher said is don continue ur studies in something u r interested in..look for some course which will have better jobs..i really cant believe that a teacher advises his student to do that..what the?if ur not interested in what u’re going to do, how r u going to lead a happy life?but he’s true that we are on our way to the queue’jobless graduates’.. so why stay in malaysia in the first place? I cant wait to leave..if i ever got a chance to study abroad, i will not come back to work here again.. not ever.. i so cant wait to leave this land..we are treated as minority in our home land.. whats the difference when we;re out there?now is the middle of march edi and i haven start not into the kiasu club but this is reality..every1 is puttin hihg hopes on me.. i just dont hink taht i can do it..while i was in the chemistry tution just now, i suddenly realise that spm is drawing nearer n nearer..and i still don understand a single word the teacher said..why am i so stupid?less than 10 months to go n i don even understand watever taht i have studied in form 4.. now i’;ve got form 5 to tried studying.. but it just cant work..i cant seem to concerntrate in the book..yea.. if u ask me to read a really interesting story book, i’ll try to finish it inone day.. even if i din get to watch tv n stuff... but when i study, i just need to read a few lines n i either get headache or i just feel asleep..why am i lik this? I really hope i can go back to me in primary skol..i manage to play n study well./.. and now i even wondered how i did that...felt really tensed up nowadays..why should we obtain the stupid cocuriculum marks..all the teachers do is just open their mouth and force u to do this n that... hey we have studies to cope as well.. and for a poor student lik me, god knows what will i get for my spm..for my realllly weak subjects, i just hope to get credit for that..haiz...add math sucks.. i can still understand n do a bit of it.. physics..what the hell is that? Its all numbers.. i hate numbers...chemistry,...worst still.. bio..ok lo...just need to memorise...haiz...i wanna pass this few subjects.. and not forgettin moral too...damn.. how is memorising all the nilai nilai murni turn u into a better person? Some of the top scorers who got 1A in moral don even mengamalkan hidup yg week of holiday and im still stuck here.. whether in front of the tv..watching or even sleeping,or in the room.. mostly sleeping and in front of the computer...god knows how the time need to change my attitude towards studies but how.. i neeed to focus but how? Urgh...8 more months and im still fooling around..i have lots of excuses not to study.. haiz..i don wanna be the one who failed my spm.. i wanna get credit for all my subjects..and credit is lik getting C...and i don even have the can they do so well and i cant? Every1 is lik tellin me .. study hard hard... n i wud answer... ok . ok.. i’ll try... saying is easy but doing it is really hard...i felt lik crying everyday...why me? Why is my life so misarable? i guess the answer is to ask myself...