Tuesday, 21 January 2014


how did i come to this again?
well i was looking back at the old pictures, print screens..
arranging and deleting the unnecessary from hogging space in the external hard disk actually.
there are like tens of thousands to look through and manage. NOT a joke.
literally that many pictures.

and then i saw.. him.
actually it is the print screen of his messages.
but whatever. 

those early mornings and late nights,
those are the only times we get to talk.
those words.
those lies.
those games.

i missed him.
his last message to me was "im busy, i have lots of business."
he meant work, but google translate says business. 
yeah. we speak different languages. 

well you know what?
im busy too.

i cant believe i fell for it.
well, everyones kinda a fool when it comes to this.

this is the last im going to talk about him.

it was fun while it lasted.
thanks for everything.


i will not look back anymore

Tuesday, 16 April 2013


it's scary how people change.

it's scary how two strangers crossed paths and become friends, then good friends, then best friends, then probably fall a little in love, and suddenly.. everything changes. they slowly drift apart and become distant friends, then very soon, strangers again. this scares me, teach me not to be held on so emotionally with the new people i meet. but then again, when it happens, it happens. when two person clicked, they clicked.

it's scary how fast time pass. close my eyes for one moment and then another week passed.

it's scary how different mineral water taste from drinking water.

it's scary how accidents happen.

it's scary how a person get injured and then scars happen.

it's scary how ....


theres nothing to update.

i am still studying. sort of..
i am still forever alone..
i am still as bored as ever...

i am still lifeless.

Friday, 25 January 2013


last night, i dreamt about you.

how can you so randomly appear in my dream? you were mine for that little while. even in the dream you went missing in the end.

i know i will get my heart broken again, i know i am shameless... i want to give this a shot and texted you. i will not hope for anything. don't want to get too disappointed again.

i must be crazy to even dream of that dream. something so impossible. even in the dream its not possible.

where have you been? at least tell me to leave u alone or something and i will do that.
i wish this is one big mess up. i wish is the systems fault. i wish there is an explanation to this.

waking up emo at 7.30am. genius me.

Monday, 19 November 2012


sometimes, its easier when you have already given up.
given up on finding love.
when you have accepted the fact that you are going to be alone forever.

then a wild fake love appears and give you hope,
thats when you let your guard down and think that you deserve a fairy tale,
like the others.

but you have to realise,
this is all fake feelings,
all they want is just to youknowwhat,
and then when you do realise one day,
you dont know how to live alone anymore.

the phrase 'i love you' been used so often it doesnt mean anything anymore.

just get back to the ground and learn to live alone, forever.
its easier this way.

you will never love anyone, anymore.
its just too difficult.

loneliness is something you cant avoid.
just, learn to live with it.

one day,
your friends will leave.
your family will leave.
everyone you have now will be too busy to bother you.