This few days feels like theres a huge dark cloud shadowing me... following me around, everywhere i go.
just this afternoon, i got bullied on road by a taxi driver on rage.
too bad i was so angry that i forgot to take down his car number.
he actually stopped in the middle of the road, and when i go to the other lane, he tried to cut in again...
and then he hurled abuse words towards me..
WTF did i do?
I think he's on PMS!
FML totally spoilt my already-bad-mood.
I dont know why but life sucks recently.
the road bully was one of the worse.
thank God someone was in the car with me to cool me down, if not there will be drama on the road edi...
I'll go buy blade tmrw and keep in my car in case this kind of thing happen again.
anyway anyhow, this whole day hasnt been good to me, from the moment i wake up till now.
u say lah, went to subway 2nd time this week, and both times, my cups were leaking.
and it only happened to me.
my friend who ordered before me had a non-leaking cup.
u say lah, what is this.... go both times, both times also get leaking cup. tsk tsk tsk...
i just hope all this #darkclouds thing will end when the Rabbit year ends... or, should i mandi bunga first?
Friday, 20 January 2012
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Rant
ARGH!! I need to let this out!
feels like a volcano waiting to erupt. may end up scolding someone, anyone if i dont say this out here.
went into exam hall this morning feeling prepared to take on the battle. sat down, waited for the invigilators instructions, open the exam question booklet and WTF I DIDNTKNOWANYTHING~!
seriously, there is 13 questions, and i only knew how to do 1. and that is the essay question. alright, so i looked, and looked, and think very hard for answers, but nothing seems to come to my mind...
gave up and came out the exam hall early.
WTF I HAVE NEVER EVER BEEN SO... STUPID. NEVER EVER.
EVEN IF I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANY QUESTIONS, USUALLY I AM ABLE TO AT LEAST CRAP AND ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS.
BUT TODAY, I DIDNT. I JUST SIMPLY LEAVE IT BLANK AND WALKED OUT WTF IS WRONG WITH ME? THE THING IS...
I WASNT ANGRY OR SAD WITH MYSELF, OR DISAPPOINTED, IM JUST FEELING NEUTRAL. I CAME HOME AND FELL ASLEEP.
its like i felt numb already to all the negativity. i wasnt happy, but i wasnt extremely sad either.
i feel like giving up on life already. i just made my already-low cgpa even lower. fml to the max.
can i just give up studying already? clearly books and lectures are not my cup of tea, fuck the mindset that every1 needs to acquire higher education to have success in life. never believed that.
damnit i seriously dont know what the fuck is wrong with me...
the hsemate just said dun be sad.. and the problem is.. im not even sad...
i just dont want to talk to anyone and if i talked to you pls dont 'step on my tail' or i will bite you.
im stupid and i know it.
go. away.
feels like a volcano waiting to erupt. may end up scolding someone, anyone if i dont say this out here.
went into exam hall this morning feeling prepared to take on the battle. sat down, waited for the invigilators instructions, open the exam question booklet and WTF I DIDNTKNOWANYTHING~!
seriously, there is 13 questions, and i only knew how to do 1. and that is the essay question. alright, so i looked, and looked, and think very hard for answers, but nothing seems to come to my mind...
gave up and came out the exam hall early.
WTF I HAVE NEVER EVER BEEN SO... STUPID. NEVER EVER.
EVEN IF I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANY QUESTIONS, USUALLY I AM ABLE TO AT LEAST CRAP AND ANSWER ALL THE QUESTIONS.
BUT TODAY, I DIDNT. I JUST SIMPLY LEAVE IT BLANK AND WALKED OUT WTF IS WRONG WITH ME? THE THING IS...
I WASNT ANGRY OR SAD WITH MYSELF, OR DISAPPOINTED, IM JUST FEELING NEUTRAL. I CAME HOME AND FELL ASLEEP.
its like i felt numb already to all the negativity. i wasnt happy, but i wasnt extremely sad either.
i feel like giving up on life already. i just made my already-low cgpa even lower. fml to the max.
can i just give up studying already? clearly books and lectures are not my cup of tea, fuck the mindset that every1 needs to acquire higher education to have success in life. never believed that.
damnit i seriously dont know what the fuck is wrong with me...
the hsemate just said dun be sad.. and the problem is.. im not even sad...
i just dont want to talk to anyone and if i talked to you pls dont 'step on my tail' or i will bite you.
im stupid and i know it.
go. away.
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
piece of shit
And so, I have decided.
This blog holds memories from the past and there is no way i'm going to delete it. But I'll be blogging on the other blog mainly on sharing information such as what did i do, what did i eat, what did i see, where i went...(etc)
And on this dead blog, I will be updating on the other side of my life. The ranting side. The side where always complains about everything under the sun and the moon. btw, I have yet to think of a suitable title for the other blog lol...
Hehe... And so you have been informed. LOL i dun even think there's a single soul visiting this blog anymore...
----------
on the other hand,
I just got back my thesis proposal result and i have minor ammendments which means that i can just start with my thesis if i wanted to. BUT when i went to see my supervisor, she told me that there is nothing wrong with my propopsal. HOWEVER, *jeng, jeng, jeng* the whole thing is a piece of shit and is not a 3rd year standard and if i carry on doing then i MIGHT (have high chance) to fail my thesis which means that i will screw my 3 years of studying.. wtf?!
Alright, i know i stupid, but wtf?! I also know its my fault for choosing such a complicated topic. already know myself not that smart edi, still want to choose such difficult topic. find trouble, cari pasal.. dunno what to say...
Will be wasting more weekends on doing this piece of shit lor... ok my thesis is my new born baby, its not a piece of shit.. but i am so tired already.. haihhhh
This blog holds memories from the past and there is no way i'm going to delete it. But I'll be blogging on the other blog mainly on sharing information such as what did i do, what did i eat, what did i see, where i went...(etc)
And on this dead blog, I will be updating on the other side of my life. The ranting side. The side where always complains about everything under the sun and the moon. btw, I have yet to think of a suitable title for the other blog lol...
Hehe... And so you have been informed. LOL i dun even think there's a single soul visiting this blog anymore...
----------
on the other hand,
I just got back my thesis proposal result and i have minor ammendments which means that i can just start with my thesis if i wanted to. BUT when i went to see my supervisor, she told me that there is nothing wrong with my propopsal. HOWEVER, *jeng, jeng, jeng* the whole thing is a piece of shit and is not a 3rd year standard and if i carry on doing then i MIGHT (have high chance) to fail my thesis which means that i will screw my 3 years of studying.. wtf?!
Alright, i know i stupid, but wtf?! I also know its my fault for choosing such a complicated topic. already know myself not that smart edi, still want to choose such difficult topic. find trouble, cari pasal.. dunno what to say...
Will be wasting more weekends on doing this piece of shit lor... ok my thesis is my new born baby, its not a piece of shit.. but i am so tired already.. haihhhh
Wednesday, 14 September 2011
Is Giving Up So Easy?
I am not the kind of person that handles stress well. Just last week, I almost gave up on TWO years of hard work. Literally giving up. I was feeling so down, and my future seems bleak. I can see nothing, but darkness. I thought I was at the end of my two years journey already. Another year to go and I am graduating. The thoughts of giving up is so strong that I would actually do it already, but friends have been encouraging me for moving forward.
I wasn't joking when I said I wanted to give up. Nope, not at all. I was pretty damn serious about it. But, the thing is, how can I have the heart to tell my parents who has been funding my studies? We are not rich, and my fees are not cheap, but they have been paying the fees every semester. How can I tell my mum that her daughter wants to give up because she is not confident at all? How can I have the heart to break the news to them that the fees they have been paying all this while will go down the drain because their daughter is a quitter?
Tears fell when I thought of that. There are many times when I talked to my mum over the phone, but I just can do it. I just can't let them down like that. As if I have not let them down enough. As if I'm not enough of a failure. Only my friends knew that I would want to give up. I spent weeks thinking long and hard about the giving up part. Those times that I was supposed to study for my failed papers, I spent it all on thinking, and thinking, instead of actually studying.
I even delayed the payment of the new semester because I had actually planned to give it all up. But, how do i face the people that have put their hopes on me? I didn't do it.
The days leading to the resit exam are not easy too. I was feeling so 'emo' that I even had a plain black profile picture on Facebook. Nope, it's not because I wanted to not show my face, but I was feeling really down. Like the life is worthless. People who know me will know that Facebook is my life (because I'm oh-so lifeless in real life). I had even considered to deactivate my fb account once and for all (if only i could find that damn button). But yeah, I didnt do it cause, I couldn't find the button. *swt case*
Through my TWO long years journey, I have met with many challenges, but this is the biggest obstacle so far. The thought of giving up had never been so strong like this before. But I thought back to those moments that I wanted to give up previously, and think where will I be if I had really given up. I have no idea. But one thing I know is, I AM STILL HERE BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO FIGHT, I CHOOSE TO CARRY ON. I DIDN'T GIVE UP. I HAD A CHOICE, AND I DIDN'T DO IT.
Nope, I didn't give up the last time, so why should I this time?
There are moments in life where we met an obstacle or two, but everything happens for a reason. When you fall down, then stand up again. Or else you'll never learn. Standing back up is not easy, neither is giving up. So, just stand up for once.
For now, I am still waiting for results, but I hope things will be positive. *fingers crossed* Thank you all who have been with me through the darkest hour.
I wasn't joking when I said I wanted to give up. Nope, not at all. I was pretty damn serious about it. But, the thing is, how can I have the heart to tell my parents who has been funding my studies? We are not rich, and my fees are not cheap, but they have been paying the fees every semester. How can I tell my mum that her daughter wants to give up because she is not confident at all? How can I have the heart to break the news to them that the fees they have been paying all this while will go down the drain because their daughter is a quitter?
Tears fell when I thought of that. There are many times when I talked to my mum over the phone, but I just can do it. I just can't let them down like that. As if I have not let them down enough. As if I'm not enough of a failure. Only my friends knew that I would want to give up. I spent weeks thinking long and hard about the giving up part. Those times that I was supposed to study for my failed papers, I spent it all on thinking, and thinking, instead of actually studying.
I even delayed the payment of the new semester because I had actually planned to give it all up. But, how do i face the people that have put their hopes on me? I didn't do it.
The days leading to the resit exam are not easy too. I was feeling so 'emo' that I even had a plain black profile picture on Facebook. Nope, it's not because I wanted to not show my face, but I was feeling really down. Like the life is worthless. People who know me will know that Facebook is my life (because I'm oh-so lifeless in real life). I had even considered to deactivate my fb account once and for all (if only i could find that damn button). But yeah, I didnt do it cause, I couldn't find the button. *swt case*
Through my TWO long years journey, I have met with many challenges, but this is the biggest obstacle so far. The thought of giving up had never been so strong like this before. But I thought back to those moments that I wanted to give up previously, and think where will I be if I had really given up. I have no idea. But one thing I know is, I AM STILL HERE BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO FIGHT, I CHOOSE TO CARRY ON. I DIDN'T GIVE UP. I HAD A CHOICE, AND I DIDN'T DO IT.
Nope, I didn't give up the last time, so why should I this time?
There are moments in life where we met an obstacle or two, but everything happens for a reason. When you fall down, then stand up again. Or else you'll never learn. Standing back up is not easy, neither is giving up. So, just stand up for once.
For now, I am still waiting for results, but I hope things will be positive. *fingers crossed* Thank you all who have been with me through the darkest hour.
Saturday, 3 September 2011
Yo!
Just trying out the new blogger.com interface. Abit confusing for me right now. So plain... Need some getting used to...
Click (1) there to "Try the updated blogger interface".
Then it will turn to the page as below. Really, it's very different, and a bit confusing for me. Oh well, can always click (2) to "Switch back to the old interface". But when you click they will ask you for comments, as they are still trying to improve.
If you're too free then you can spend a few minutes with the comments and feedback, or can just click "Skip".
I realise that with the new interface, they do not bring you directly to a "Published" page where you can click view blog after publishing a post. It stays on the same page where you are composing the blogpost, which I think is oh-so-not convenient for me.
Click (1) there to "Try the updated blogger interface".
Then it will turn to the page as below. Really, it's very different, and a bit confusing for me. Oh well, can always click (2) to "Switch back to the old interface". But when you click they will ask you for comments, as they are still trying to improve.
If you're too free then you can spend a few minutes with the comments and feedback, or can just click "Skip".
I realise that with the new interface, they do not bring you directly to a "Published" page where you can click view blog after publishing a post. It stays on the same page where you are composing the blogpost, which I think is oh-so-not convenient for me.
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