after many months no update blog.. IM BACK AGAIN...!! lol.. back to write crap here..
bored bored...oh ya..
happy independance day to those who take the normal 10 science subjects...
i wish ..
-to get good results for my spm..
-to get my license as soon as possible..
- i have more time...
-those childish people will sedar that what they do is really childish and do not do any benifit to themselves and also others,
- to get back my camera which is stil in da hospital as soon as possible,[live without my cam is lik living without a part of me]
- i will not have another bad day,
i wish... for many many wished,
lastly, i wish that all my wish will be granted... hehe....
today is definately NOT a gud day for me... haiz.. dun wanna write so much here.. no mood wanna write long long...
i did absolutely nothing during this two weeks of holiday except for eating n sleeping n watching tv...i think i got tired of resting so much.. haiz.. how can someone actually get tired of that...this holiday proves again that i am xtremely LAZY! till today also din touch any book.. except for memoirs of geisha.. haiz.. pathetic..so many hworks to do , so little time and iam not making any effort to do it.. yes.. i do regret but whats the use? i onli regret and will no do anything.. haiz... no ubat can save me edi lar this time... haiz...im dissapointed wit myself..haiz...
skol wanna reopen edi.. have to wake up early.. have to go assembly... have to see the people i hate.. i really think the two of them can get married and have kids as hate-able as them.. haiz.. life sucks... why have to deal wit all this stuff..haiz...
have lots more to write but cant express it in words.. so cant have it here in da blog.. i can only sigh...
yay ! its holiday again.. after 3 long weeks of exams and carnivals and tcher's day a.k.a torture;s day, finaly... something that i have been waiting for....holiday!...din do really well in da exam altho i studied... i think i din pay enough attention to da exam tho..spent my time sleeping as usual... lol....i am so relieved that the carnival was over.... and surprisingly, we took part in da marching...well, at least i get something done right? hehe.... da pameran was kinda lame...i have no idea wats was that all about... and the food fair... was... well, kinda lame too... watta.... we agreed on selling something but the really 'smart' teachers changed it to something that someone wouldnt buy.. watta...wat a waste of out money...and after the two really tiring carnival dayz, its teachers day... dunno why i went tho...but who cares? went homeduring the reccess...waste my time onli lar.. go there... sleep at home better... lol..haiz..as if i got nothing betetr to do... lol
went out today 2 makan wit frens.. and after dat, we went to jalan jalan...hehe..end up in teluk batik..kinda fun tho...went there wit the whole bunch of frens..
i cant wait till the day i get my license le...so many people got theirs d... haiz... a month more to go... 26 days .... lol... haiz...
After some consideration, i x jadi nak drop ad math.. haiz.. dunno will regret anot if i drop..and.. if don drop what will happen..
Its again the time of the year where ppl will be really happy or really sad...the results are out..and next year wud be my turn..help..suddenly i felt lots of stress.. im afraid to end up lik the girl who jumps from the third floor of her skol..im afraid i;ll be the one next year..yea sure.. u may say or think that nothing is worth dying for.. its just ur result..but the just result, which is shown on a piece of paper,is wat u;ve been working 17 years for.. and it will menentukan ur future..by the way, while i was attending my physics class yesterday,the teacher said that scoring an A is really important..it shows where u are and ur standard..can u imagine that the words came out of a teacher’s mouth? No wonder the girl choose to jump from the third floor..pressure is all around you..when u get straight A’s, people just go to u and say .. wow how did u do it. Im so impressed ..blah blah blah... wats the big deal? Is the grades so important? A person can really score 16 1A but his or her attitude towards the elders is unacceptable..thats wat malaysians have become..rude malaysians, don have respect to the others..lol..don wanna go much into that..the second thing that the teacher said is don continue ur studies in something u r interested in..look for some course which will have better jobs..i really cant believe that a teacher advises his student to do that..what the?if ur not interested in what u’re going to do, how r u going to lead a happy life?but he’s true that we are on our way to the queue’jobless graduates’.. so why stay in malaysia in the first place? I cant wait to leave..if i ever got a chance to study abroad, i will not come back to work here again.. not ever.. i so cant wait to leave this land..we are treated as minority in our home land.. whats the difference when we;re out there?now is the middle of march edi and i haven start studying..im not into the kiasu club but this is reality..every1 is puttin hihg hopes on me.. i just dont hink taht i can do it..while i was in the chemistry tution just now, i suddenly realise that spm is drawing nearer n nearer..and i still don understand a single word the teacher said..why am i so stupid?less than 10 months to go n i don even understand watever taht i have studied in form 4.. now i’;ve got form 5 to go..help..ive tried studying.. but it just cant work..i cant seem to concerntrate in the book..yea.. if u ask me to read a really interesting story book, i’ll try to finish it inone day.. even if i din get to watch tv n stuff... but when i study, i just need to read a few lines n i either get headache or i just feel asleep..why am i lik this? I really hope i can go back to me in primary skol..i manage to play n study well./.. and now i even wondered how i did that...felt really tensed up nowadays..why should we obtain the stupid cocuriculum marks..all the teachers do is just open their mouth and force u to do this n that... hey we have studies to cope as well.. and for a poor student lik me, god knows what will i get for my spm..for my realllly weak subjects, i just hope to get credit for that..haiz...add math sucks.. i can still understand n do a bit of it.. physics..what the hell is that? Its all numbers.. i hate numbers...chemistry,...worst still.. bio..ok lo...just need to memorise...haiz...i wanna pass this few subjects.. and not forgettin moral too...damn.. how is memorising all the nilai nilai murni turn u into a better person? Some of the top scorers who got 1A in moral don even mengamalkan hidup yg bermoral.one week of holiday and im still stuck here.. whether in front of the tv..watching or even sleeping,or in the room.. mostly sleeping and in front of the computer...god knows how the time pass...help...i need to change my attitude towards studies but how.. i neeed to focus but how? Urgh...8 more months and im still fooling around..i have lots of excuses not to study.. haiz..i don wanna be the one who failed my spm.. i wanna get credit for all my subjects..and credit is lik getting C...and i don even have the confidence..how can they do so well and i cant? Every1 is lik tellin me .. study hard ..study hard... n i wud answer... ok . ok.. i’ll try... saying is easy but doing it is really hard...i felt lik crying everyday...why me? Why is my life so misarable? i guess the answer is to ask myself...
da 'problems' that i faced today:
1. i wanna sleep
2. my bad temper.. maybe due to lack of sleep
3. education fair issue...long story...
4. still not yet sell finish the coupons..urgh.. die lar
5. shouted excused me at some1 in my class..she's angry at me..i think
6. scolded 'b a b i' at some1 else shortly after that..its not that i enjoy scolding her... but..please lar.. be considerate a bit lar..i cant stand something that she did to me..
7. wan to drop add math anot? i still have nt make up my mind le.. tml rng have to tell her d... helllpppp/....
wanna drop add math anot le? help.. haiz......................think till my head wanna meletup d lar...
read a blog by sumone..
why is she keep hurting me lik this?
i promise myself that i wont care watever she say there...
but i get jealous very very easily..
thanks so much for hurting me over and over again..
thanks for making me jealous over u..
i admit it..
are u satisfied?
thanks for making me realise u took another fren from me..
some1 who i can really trust..
thanks for everything uve done to me
thanks for every word u say that hurt me..
thanks for being fake all the time..
thanks for making me believe that ure my fren..
thanks a lot...
i can do nothing d..
unless torture myself..
thanks alot to u...
why am i lik this? i told myself i want to study this year.. but i cant seem to find some time to even do my homwrk..i ve reduced my tv time to 2 hours a day.. im busy wit tutions everyday after skol..haiz...24 hours is not enough for me...
i told myself and another fren that i want to stop taking motor without license.. i dont wan to repeat my stupid mistakes i did last year.. but barely 12 hours i said that, i took my fren on her scooter to tution..haiz..i cant keep to my words...
oh ya.. should i drop add math of physics? to me, both the subjects are just a crap..i cant understand both the subjects..haiz..what should i do? drop just add math? or just physics? or both? i cant make up my mind..
Haiz.. so long din update blog edi... too busy wit skol and tutions..and getting some sleep.. haha...
Should i or should i not drop add math for my spm?
If i drop it, my life wud be easier. But sooner or later i will have to study add mth in coll or U oso le.. thats wat i heard lar..if i don drop.. then how if i fail add math for my spm? Haiz..im so confused..wat shud i do? Who shud i go to?grandma ask me to drop a few sub.haiz...stil thinkin bout it.. Hmm...anyone have any suggestions? I need some help and advice here.. die lar.. stil cant make up my mind..
Haiz.. tml start skol edi..cant believe that..today stil can relax at home..haven started doing my forn 4 moral folio oso..haiz..laziness overtakes me..haha..skol is tml n i still dunno where is my tie, my badge, my uniform, my bag n stuff.. haiz.. don really look forward to a new skol year so soon..i hope that theres more time for me to play..
My new year resolution
i reallly hope i can keep those things in mind..usually, i will forget all the resolutions in just 2 days..haha..haiz..see the tution timetable oso pening edi..tuesday and thursday got 3 tutions in a row..where got time to rest..hope i can bertahan lar..
..im so clumsy.. i spilled water in the living room one day..and the next day, i spilled mee sup in da hospital.. haiz...sia sia onli bring so far...lucky din kena scolding..hehe
went for hiking in lumut for the first time in my life ystd.. i thought i can finish it. But then.. walk half way onli kenot continue d.. haiz.. im such a failure..haiz...
2006 is gonna be tough for me..first its spm.. then today.. bad news..i kena halau from my room..haiz..have to sleep in a room wit no air cond for the rest of the year..i dunno if i can stand it..i cant sleep without air cond..haiz..but one thing that is good is..the comp is in this room..yay..actually, i voluntered to sleep here..at least its better than sleeping wit some1 else rite? Haha..
till now, im still not ready for skol.. have to wake up early .. haiz..