Tuesday 5 May 2009

this post sounds angry. hmmph. wasnt intended this way. ^^

sometimes, people fail to realise words can cut deeper than knife.

wtf i dont care who u are, i dont like what u said to me.
i didnt say anything cause i dont want to make an issue out of a small thing.
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i went back for grandpa's birthday last weekend, so does everyone else. so ngam its a public holiday. dont want to talk bout unhappy beginning. hmmph, since i step into the house, i was eating non stop for 3 days straight. no joke. food is everywhere.

sunday morning, parents house got burglur-ed. crazy fella. even chocolate in the fridge also want to steal. no one sees u doing it, but God knows.

i came back only on monday morning, right before my class starts. then i have time on sunday evening to go over to yy's house. wanted to borrow her baby for my assignment purpose, but she's too shy and small. so i ended up borrowing her bro instead. he he he. thanks lots ya.

when i went there, i wasnt sure what the hell i wanted to do yet. even the idea was given by her. sigh. i know. i'm slow.

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i feel stressed even tho there's no major assignment to pass up this week. no rushing for deadlines or anything. why the hell am i feeling stressed?

warning signs : i eat alot.

yes, i do. i have appetite for lots of food. cravings. example, this mornng, i couldnt decide between pan mee, chicken rice, chap fan or char koey teow.

i had char koey teow for brunch. at medan.

then after class, was extremely hungry, so i went to medan to get food. tapao some chap fan. for some reason, i bought two packets. i thought i could keep one for tml, since i dont have class. i finish one packet of chap fan by the time i got home. i eat when traffic light turn red and also when there's a jam. bout 6 something in the evening.

it's not funny. i dont know why am i doing it. but i did it.

then bout 8 plus, i went to take the second packet and eat it. i feel guilty for eating so much. but part of me is telling me to go and just eat it. was eating while watching oprah. then i stopped eating. i know i could finish it if i wanted to. but guilt took over me. dump the whole packet (still left 85%) in the fridge. so i wont go and take it and eat it anymore unless i microwaved it. wtf is wrong with me?

LOL.

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this friday, there's a social gathering for psychology students, hmmmph. if im not wrong, the theme for that day is polka dots or stripes. dont want to appear odd there. althought i doubt everyone will adhere to the theme, its better to be safe than sorry.

problem is, where the hell am i supposed to find something with polka dot or stripes? i dont wear earrings, i wanted to get a cap or something, but i scare my head is too big it wouldnt fit. got no tee that fits.

HELP?

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i've been appointed the "official photographer" for this saturday's event. this is the first time i've been appointed with such a heavy responsibility. i'm happy and also nervous. because i know i'll fly aeroplane.

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some one said to me, "dont raise your voice even when u're angry. no matter if u're angry or sad or happy, you shouldnt raise your voice to anyone."

i was thinking, "ARE U ASKING ME TO BE FAKE? i am not going to act nice and happy when i'm angry. i am not going to act like there's nothing wrong with me when i am sad. blame my astrological sign. i'm a cancerian. i tend to 'over-react'. no, i am not going to put on a show just because everyone else is FAKE. i am NOT going to ACT. whatever u see is the REAL ME."

*if u had heard the story of me and the guy in the library, u obviously heard it from someone else and i know that the someone who told u the story will have a different version of mine. she tend to add sugar and salt into original stories. and btw, if i had really raised my voice and scolded him, he deserve it. lol. i am so not gonna smile to him and say im sorry i made a mistake. its my wrong. because as a CONSUMER, i have my rights. i am trying to change. i am not going to say YES to everything. no more thank yous when i am right and you are wrong. no more im sorry for no reason. i am going to TAKE MY STAND.

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by this time, i assume that u have read everythng up there. wasnt intended to be rude or angry or anything.
just trying to express what i think.
just read and minus the angry part.

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