Tuesday, 5 May 2009

this post sounds angry. hmmph. wasnt intended this way. ^^

sometimes, people fail to realise words can cut deeper than knife.

wtf i dont care who u are, i dont like what u said to me.
i didnt say anything cause i dont want to make an issue out of a small thing.

i went back for grandpa's birthday last weekend, so does everyone else. so ngam its a public holiday. dont want to talk bout unhappy beginning. hmmph, since i step into the house, i was eating non stop for 3 days straight. no joke. food is everywhere.

sunday morning, parents house got burglur-ed. crazy fella. even chocolate in the fridge also want to steal. no one sees u doing it, but God knows.

i came back only on monday morning, right before my class starts. then i have time on sunday evening to go over to yy's house. wanted to borrow her baby for my assignment purpose, but she's too shy and small. so i ended up borrowing her bro instead. he he he. thanks lots ya.

when i went there, i wasnt sure what the hell i wanted to do yet. even the idea was given by her. sigh. i know. i'm slow.


i feel stressed even tho there's no major assignment to pass up this week. no rushing for deadlines or anything. why the hell am i feeling stressed?

warning signs : i eat alot.

yes, i do. i have appetite for lots of food. cravings. example, this mornng, i couldnt decide between pan mee, chicken rice, chap fan or char koey teow.

i had char koey teow for brunch. at medan.

then after class, was extremely hungry, so i went to medan to get food. tapao some chap fan. for some reason, i bought two packets. i thought i could keep one for tml, since i dont have class. i finish one packet of chap fan by the time i got home. i eat when traffic light turn red and also when there's a jam. bout 6 something in the evening.

it's not funny. i dont know why am i doing it. but i did it.

then bout 8 plus, i went to take the second packet and eat it. i feel guilty for eating so much. but part of me is telling me to go and just eat it. was eating while watching oprah. then i stopped eating. i know i could finish it if i wanted to. but guilt took over me. dump the whole packet (still left 85%) in the fridge. so i wont go and take it and eat it anymore unless i microwaved it. wtf is wrong with me?



this friday, there's a social gathering for psychology students, hmmmph. if im not wrong, the theme for that day is polka dots or stripes. dont want to appear odd there. althought i doubt everyone will adhere to the theme, its better to be safe than sorry.

problem is, where the hell am i supposed to find something with polka dot or stripes? i dont wear earrings, i wanted to get a cap or something, but i scare my head is too big it wouldnt fit. got no tee that fits.



i've been appointed the "official photographer" for this saturday's event. this is the first time i've been appointed with such a heavy responsibility. i'm happy and also nervous. because i know i'll fly aeroplane.


some one said to me, "dont raise your voice even when u're angry. no matter if u're angry or sad or happy, you shouldnt raise your voice to anyone."

i was thinking, "ARE U ASKING ME TO BE FAKE? i am not going to act nice and happy when i'm angry. i am not going to act like there's nothing wrong with me when i am sad. blame my astrological sign. i'm a cancerian. i tend to 'over-react'. no, i am not going to put on a show just because everyone else is FAKE. i am NOT going to ACT. whatever u see is the REAL ME."

*if u had heard the story of me and the guy in the library, u obviously heard it from someone else and i know that the someone who told u the story will have a different version of mine. she tend to add sugar and salt into original stories. and btw, if i had really raised my voice and scolded him, he deserve it. lol. i am so not gonna smile to him and say im sorry i made a mistake. its my wrong. because as a CONSUMER, i have my rights. i am trying to change. i am not going to say YES to everything. no more thank yous when i am right and you are wrong. no more im sorry for no reason. i am going to TAKE MY STAND.


by this time, i assume that u have read everythng up there. wasnt intended to be rude or angry or anything.
just trying to express what i think.
just read and minus the angry part.

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