the very last post of april

i cried to sleep last nite.
i really miss home.
i really hate this place.
i really hate coming here.
i really wanna go home.
-----*
so fast. its end of april edi.
never thought almost half de year gone just like that lor.
after may then its june edi.
june will b the middle of the year and its my mid year exam edi.
when think back.
what have i learnt so far?
am i prepared for the mid year?
no i am not.
i just keep wasting my time everyday.
i stil dun really how to do accounting.
even the basic general journal and general ledger also i dunno do.
and econs..
even if its easier than math,
i still think that i dunt really understand what it really means.
i onli know recession and god knows what else i knows.
and today,
for IT,
miss V gave the work for database.
i dun even know what crap is it.
and she says thats what will come out in practical exam.
i AM SO DEAD!
stil owe her a report on benefits and disadvantages if information system.
i tink i can stil manage psycho gua.
i just need to read whatever thats in the text book rite?
right??
i hope so..
one more month to my mid year.
if i dun do well,
i am so dead.
wx will b leaving for form6 soon, leaving me alone in IT class.
will i manage?
i hope i can.
i shall b independent now.
cant depend on her all my life.
haiz.
this is the end of the fourth month and i am still day dreaming.
i have trouble concentrating.
i have bad memory too.
onli last night i remember that i forgot to attend Economics extra class.
i am so very forgetful.
its on thursday. and i only remember bout it on sunday.
haiz.
i am so so ... speechless..,
i dunno why.
haiz.
thats bad.
i know.
april fool's long gone.
welcome labor day.
welcome MAY.
welcome the other me.
welcome the me who have more confidence wit myself, more dependent on myself and more hardworking.
welcome welcome welcome.

i seriously need to change NOW.
ok ok.
i put aside going back to sitiawan issue till after my mid year.
i will not cry again over silly things.
i will study.
i will try to understand and ask for help even if i dont.
i will ...