i miss sitiawan

i looked up blogs that contained the word 'sitiawan' in it. it made me miss going back to sitiawan even more. i saw pictures of the *ahem* famous noodles at the kg. koh market, blogs on how city ppl thinks sitiawan sucks, blogs on sitiawan ppl going back to sitiawan after quite some time. i dont know. these things made me miss sitiawan suddenly. i miss those delicious and fresh seafood. omgosh. i miss sotong goreng. (sitiawan is not all about food ok). i miss those times i skipped class and got away with it. i miss those times in school. i miss those time we bbq-ed in total darkness. i miss those times i can cycle to anywhere i wanted. i miss those classmates and friends i meet in school everyday. i miss those times when all of us are back, then we would just hang out till late at night, going to lumut, 933, strawberry, mcd, secret recipe, steamboat, or just driving around sitiawan. i just went back last week. but then, i dont know why i suddenly miss sitiawan so much. i want to go back. but i know i cant. most probably, i wont be able to go back till after my exam. of course, i miss my grandparents too. for some reason i dont understand.

the only thing i dont miss bout sitiawan is the constant nagging and 'interviewing' and the 24-7 bird noise.

why i like sitiawan more than penang.
cause i grow up in sitiawan.
cause i have freedom in sitiawan.
means. i just tell my grandparents where i am going and im out of the house.
here, i cant do that.
first, i have no where to go.
then, if im not back when its dark, calls will come in every five minutes.
yes, even when im driving.
but thats not the main point.
heck. i dont even know what my main point.

right now, my plan is to complete sam and take a few months rest.
and explore sitiawan.
but i know its very unlikely to happen.
my relatives will debate their point and they will win.
i will be left speechless.
in the end, i will be the one going to the very first intake of the year.
if, i PASS SAM...
if i don't pass,
i will be labeled as stupid and lazy and didn't work hard enough.
why not trying to ask me, is this what i want?
lol.
when i enroll in sam, i am not even ready.
i have not even decided.
i am here, doing sam because my aunt, uncles, grandparents, parents say i have to do it.
you see, this is where the mistake is.
i haven decided and i am not even ready for all this when i came here.
imagine it.
start college life exactly one month after SPM.
minus all the times i spent looking for colleges, its not even one month.
my dream is to have one year free from all these nonsense.
but that's only my dream.
my brain will rot if i didn't do anything in one year.

life sucks.

i wonder.
why the songs i am listening now are all sad songs...
bad bad..