got the pay

i just received my pay for the part time job i did in june. woooohooo...

but, on the other hand, i spent twice the amount on buying stuff online.

see ya..

I didn't fail. Semester FIVE commence last Monday. I'm quite life-less now, with the assignment load and also not seeing the shadows. Hence, the lack of blog post.

Anyway, just a super short update to show that I'm alive.

Supposed to be at Genting now, but extra class killed the trip.
And supposed to be in Pyramid to learn bowling, but cancelled. And I hate myself for waking up late. Sigh.

I'm looking forward to Melaka trip, and photography outings.

Which I really hope would work out.

Results, where are you?

Your results are currently not available.

OMgosh have been staring at this sentense for the past two weeks. every day i log in to izone to check ok! Then they say its coming out latest by 12th August! It's now 12 August, where is my damn result?

OMGosh im so nervous, so did i fail or not?
Resit timetable is already OUT last week lehhh,means they already know the result, its just that they have to take an extra step this time to key it in izone. WHY THE TROUBLE?

How am I going to sleep tonight?

Have to drive long distance some more tomorrow lehhhh! WTF!

The End of My Smelly Pillow.

Today, I was damn mad at someone. Something. Ok, it's my brother's dog. She has been teman-ing me till 3am every night. She sleeps very close to me while im online, or playing games. So close, i can feel her heartbeat.

BUT today, this little naughty girl had been very very naughty. She somehow got hold of my bao bao(smelly pillow) on the couch and bit it. Bite till koyak ok. You say lah, mad or not? This is not the first time its happening. A few days ago, i left on a rather low chair and I came home with the bao bao on the floor. Alright, she just bit like one end of it, I still have the other end, so I din really punish her.

But today, she bit both sides ok. Right I realise I sound very childish now, BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. NO ONE, NO ONE AT ALL, AND NOTHING, CAN EVER INFLICT ANY HARM TO MY BAO BEI BAO BAO. I HAVE LOVED THIS THING FOR THE PAST 21 YEARS, AND IM GONNA LOVE IT TILL THE DAY I DIE. UNDERSTAND?!

I can't control myself, i just hit her, and then she ran away. And hid behind some table. I moved the table, the chairs, till she got no place to hide, grab her and threw her outside. She hates being alone, you see. She hate being isolated and not loved. She likes attention. Right, someone has to teach her discipline and respect. She was outside for 10seconds and started scratching the door, barking, etc. Had her there for few minutes, and being a good, friendly, considerate neighbour, I opened the door, and grab her, and she fought back. She knew I was angry, and didn't want me to grab her anymore. somehow i managed to get hold of her back leg and and she was upside down. Fight somemore lah.

Got her in the house, threw her into the cage. She absolutely H A T E being locked in the cage. She started barking like whole taman can hear ok. I fill a glass of water, and started to sprinkle her everytime she bark. Floor all wet ahhhh...

Gosh, i felt so evil, but she deserves it. She didn't like the water and stopped barking and sat quietly in the cage. Then, mum got her out because she's going grooming. LOLs.

Spoilt my appetite nia wtf. Planned to have durians while she was away de. Cause she damn excited when she smells durian. Thought maybe i could enjoy my durians with peace and quiet. mana tau, lost appetite sial. Damn geram ok, I even called grandma and complain and emo-ed whole afternoon-evening. babi-ness.

And when she got back from grooming, I kinda ignored her and she sense that I hate her and kept her distance from me. And even now, she didn't dare to sleep beside me yet.

I still hate you, do you know? haizzz...

Ok as i am typing this, she's sleeping on the floor, 10 inches away from me, dreaming. You know she's dreaming cause she has those cute barks. like dream talking.

I want to be angry with her, but I also know that she is like a child, curious about everything and didn't know that she's not suppose to be doing what she did. Sighs, how how? Damn angry but can't be angry also.

I wanted to have a cute picture of her here, but i damn lazy load photo from camera. sorreh.

#712

According to Blogger.com, this is post number 712. It's been a long journey. I had this blog since form 3. wow-ness.

It's so peaceful here, i don't feel like going home so early :(

Exam results are very worrying. Why so they have to add an extra step? If they would just call and tell, then we wouldn't have to wait so long. Result are out yeah, but we can't see our results yet, because it's not in izone yet. and for a high risk student like me, i have done nothing but worry during my holidays.

since the start of holiday till now, there's only one question in my mind. "What if I failed? What will I do then?"

Just want to share one emo song today.

怎麽了.你累了.说好的.幸福呐
我懂了.不说了.爱淡了.梦淹了
开心与不开心.一一叙说着.你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻.我都还记得

what happened, you're tired, hadn't we agreed, to have happiness
i understand, don't say anymore, love had weakened, my dreams have sunk
being happy and not, narrating them one after another, you can't bear it
those feelings of having loved are too deep, i still remember them

Partial lyrics from here.

Why me?

holiday doesn't feel like a holiday. i miss my last holiday. were out every single day learning photography. wanted to do it this holiday too, and since i have longer break this time, i thought it would be the perfect time to get back to my camera, which has been long forgotten due to the overflowing assignments and exams. but i have no photo-buddy with me this break, so i was stuck at home. yeah, for the past TWO weeks in at home. miserable holiday.

finally drag my ass and went to see a skin specialist. what i feared most happened. there's nothing i could do

about my disgusting arms. i am born with this and i'm hit jackpot inheriting this genes, so there's absolutely nothing i can do about it. *Well, i'm thinking if i cant do anything bout that, i might as well have a big tatoo to cover up those disgusting parts. at least tatoos are pretty.* ok, i couldn't speak a word in the doctor's office because i was trying very hard not to cry. *mum's with me, it wud be ugly to make a scene* seriously, it felt like, the doctor just told me i'm at the final stage of some disease and i'm about to die in two weeks. it feels like, i got stabbed in the heart.

im going to die old, grumpy, lonely.

"Why me?"

sometimes i cant help but wonder, why do i always get the bad genes?

the big bones(there's no way i can be thin), the fats(makes it more impossible), the flat feet(i can't get pretty girly shoes), the skin-disease like arms(i disgust myself, everytime i look at it i cant help but wonder, why me?), the way i speak(i can't pronounce s, x, f, etc...),my very bad temper(confirm inherited, it's in my blood),...

FML.