Monday, 2 August 2010

Why me?

holiday doesn't feel like a holiday. i miss my last holiday. were out every single day learning photography. wanted to do it this holiday too, and since i have longer break this time, i thought it would be the perfect time to get back to my camera, which has been long forgotten due to the overflowing assignments and exams. but i have no photo-buddy with me this break, so i was stuck at home. yeah, for the past TWO weeks in at home. miserable holiday.

finally drag my ass and went to see a skin specialist. what i feared most happened. there's nothing i could do
about my disgusting arms. i am born with this and i'm hit jackpot inheriting this genes, so there's absolutely nothing i can do about it. *Well, i'm thinking if i cant do anything bout that, i might as well have a big tatoo to cover up those disgusting parts. at least tatoos are pretty.* ok, i couldn't speak a word in the doctor's office because i was trying very hard not to cry. *mum's with me, it wud be ugly to make a scene* seriously, it felt like, the doctor just told me i'm at the final stage of some disease and i'm about to die in two weeks. it feels like, i got stabbed in the heart.

im going to die old, grumpy, lonely.

"Why me?"

sometimes i cant help but wonder, why do i always get the bad genes?
the big bones(there's no way i can be thin), the fats(makes it more impossible), the flat feet(i can't get pretty girly shoes), the skin-disease like arms(i disgust myself, everytime i look at it i cant help but wonder, why me?), the way i speak(i can't pronounce s, x, f, etc...),my very bad temper(confirm inherited, it's in my blood),...



Xiaowen23 said...

how could u say that??
although u may not be pretty from the outside,
but u are pretty inside.
that's all that matters.

so what if you're pretty out?
u're not pretty inside that makes u a bitch..
u're not a bitch.
u're my dear friend =)
with the best personality ever!!

be confident la.
there may not be a cure now.
but in the future who knows right?
u have good genes too..
look on the bright side!!

yuanzhou said...

Hey cut it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and who's to say who's better than the other based on these physical traits? Never compare yourself to the standards set by the shallow society. I'm sure you know well too that when you don't have one thing you will be compensated with another. Honestly, I think you're a fun person to be around and have a real sense of humour.

By the way, which dermatologist you went to? I know of one in Penang who is like, totally awesome you should try there.

żħї~qїňg said...

thanks to both of your comments. :)
was emo at that time of writing. i guess i just had too much time to think.

i went to the one outside my house in prai.