Last month, when everyone went home for grandma's birthday, I stayed back with the excuse that I wanted to study for the exam. But, I was at a concert.
To clarify, I really did spend time studying, and that 3 hours at the concert is just a 'rest time'.
The sad part is, I broke my own promise thaat I will go home after exam to celebrate. I didnt.
Finally went back after almost 1.5 month... And grandma came to hug me as soon as she saw me. I didnt hug back because its awkward. Not our culture at all. First time she did this...
I feel bad... why did i have to neglect them so much?
and for them to say that they are old and probably dont have much time left, it's... not something that i want to hear. people leave, that i understand, but there is a part of me that believe that they will be there forever with me...
they will be there when i graduate, they will attend my ceremony. im not good with my studies, and they may not be the proudest grandparents around, but im sure they will attend.
they will be there when i start working, and i will earn enough money to take them to a holiday.
i will definitely be able to do that.
they will be strong enough to go places with me.. with my own salary!
when i am 30, 40, or 50 years old, they will still be there for me... i really want to believe they will... there is always somewhere i am able to go back to... a place where i feel the love and comfort... they will be there when i need a place to hide...
gosh, why am i doing this post again.. its so depressing...
I want to be able to spend more time with them...
But being 3rd year and internship and thesis...
im being such a bad granddaughter. fmyself.
No comments:
Post a Comment