ħēĄŗ mŸ vōĬċę

u noe? i feel like wanna put down everything and just go and hide in one corner.
i dunno why,
but i feel depressed occasionally.
not rarely, not seldom,but occasionally and it happen quite often.
but i recover kinda fast too..
i think...
mostly its during weekends when i totally have nothing to do..
maybe its just mood swings, but i really do feel depressed.
during weekdays, i would have not much time, so i dun think so much.
but during weekends when im not going back to stw, just stay at this stupid place...
i realllly feeel bad..
imagine the mixture of fear, disappointment,frustration,anger,worried,jealousy(yes u read it right) all mixed together...
the kind of feeling..
u just feel like u;re not in this world anymore..
i hate it..
but almost everyweekend, i will feel this way..
this week is not exceptional..
im stuck in this stupid island again for some reason..
saturday home alone for kinda the whole day...
have so much time to think of nonsense..
sunday..
i feel tat this world is so unfair..
i start showing my sour face when we're in pacific..
i felt that im not part of them when we're in the car.
what are they talking about?
anyone care explaing whats happening?
and then..
went to focus point..
mum and bro in the shop.
sat down..
and told de ppl there whats wrong with their specs.
i stood there. waiting for them to finish..
i tot it wont take long.
just a few moments then ok edi..
but i was WRONG!
feel like so left out and i stand there like an idiot..
they were talking as if im not there..
so i went out..
then went in again..
and went out..
then after quite some time,
mum and bro went to look for presents for bro's whoever...
and i followed them./..
and again,... they treat me as if im not there..
dad just stood there and see...lol
then something just hit me and i felt like crying..
its a stupid feeling trust me...
damnit..
so i went to a corner and just sat there watching ppl walk pass by for like half an hour..
i din really cry there...
public place lei..
but on the way home..
in the car..
i cried a lil..
back home..
i went straight to the room and lock myself inside..
and yes, the pillow is all wet..
haiz..
other than that, i realllly miss my frens back home in stw...and those in kl..
i met sp 2 weeks b4..
but..those in taylors..
so so damn long din see them edi lei...


ps: besides i miss stw, i miss my grandparents, i miss my frens, and my kuailan bro that dun really listens to whatever i say and pretty much the whole world thinks that im invincible, and unfair-ness , my life is not bad. lol...