Friday, 8 June 2007

making baby

There is not one dirty word in it, and
it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive
children and
Decided to use a surrogate father to
start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith
Kissed his wife goodbye and
said, "Well, I'm off now;
The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a
door-to-door baby photographer
Happened to ring the doorbell, hoping
to make a sale.

Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've
come to...''

Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith
cut in,
Embarrassed, "I've been expecting

"Have you really?" said the
photographer. "Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are
my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had
Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment she asked,
blushing, "Well, where
Do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try
two in the
Bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps
a couple
On the bed. And sometimes the living
room floor is
Fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder
it didn't
Work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee
a good one
Every time. But if we try several
Positions and I shoot from six or
seven angles, I'm
Sure you'll be pleased with the

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has
to take his
Time. I'd love to be in and out in
five minutes,
But I'm sure you'd be disappointed
with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith

The photographer opened his briefcase
and pulled
Out a portfolio of his baby
pictures. "This was
Done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed,
grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out
exceptionally well -
When you consider their mother was so
difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to
take her to
The park to get the job done right.
People were
Crowding around four and five deep to
get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith,
her eyes
Wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And
for more
Than three hours, too.

The mother was constantly squealing
and y elling -
I could hardly concentrate, and when
darkness approached
I had to rush my shots.

Finally! , when the squirrels began
nibbling on my
Equipment, I just had to pack it all

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you
mean they
Actually chewed on your,"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if
you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get
to work right away."


"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod
to rest my
Canon on. It's much too big to be held
in the
Hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted.........

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