I think I lose a little bit of weight, 

but I cant be sure. 

And I dont want to be sure. 

Dear tze,

Remember the time when you're stuck while doing assignment.. And the due date was so near its impossible to do anything..

Remember the time where you were so stressed up and giving up is the only thing you could think of?

The thought of giving up is so strong..

But guess what..

You made it through.

Fight, for another time. Fight like you never fought before.

Life is not fair, its up to you to change it.

:(

life is tough these days. 

especially this few days.

this is the toughest moment so far...

the journey in the past 2 years is not easy,

but i have made it so far, 

and now, i might have to walking.

and choose another path.

should i?

i need answers.

i am tired,

i have no more energy to carry on, 

but i have made it thru so far,

is it worth it?

i'm almost at the end of the journey. 

but this rock is too huge for me. 

too huge. 

im seriously tired. 

whats the use of crying,

answers don't flow out with the tears.

but i really cant take it anymore. 

how?

i am such a big disappointment for everyone who cared. 

im sorry. 

i have betrayed ur trust. 

if there is a hole,

i would hide and sulk there. 

Crossroads

If the crossroads in life is like the branches on the tree, then it would be a very interesting journey. 

ż ђ ї ~ q أ ήg's photostream

ż ђ ї ~ q أ ήg's photostream on Flickr.

:) some of the pictures i have taken thru the years, i'm still learning and improving... i know, it's not presentable, but show your support for a noobie? hehehe

e M o

I have a confession to make.

Last month, when everyone went home for grandma's birthday, I stayed back with the excuse that I wanted to study for the exam. But, I was at a concert. 

To clarify, I really did spend time studying, and that 3 hours at the concert is just a 'rest time'.

The sad part is, I broke my own promise thaat I will go home after exam to celebrate. I didnt. 

Finally went back after almost 1.5 month... And grandma came to hug me as soon as she saw me. I didnt hug back because its awkward. Not our culture at all. First time she did this... 

I feel bad... why did i have to neglect them so much? 

and for them to say that they are old and probably dont have much time left, it's... not something that i want to hear. people leave, that i understand, but there is a part of me that believe that they will be there forever with me... 

they will be there when i graduate, they will attend my ceremony. im not good with my studies, and they may not be the proudest grandparents around, but im sure they will attend. 

they will be there when i start working, and i will earn enough money to take them to a holiday.

i will definitely be able to do that. 

they will be strong enough to go places with me.. with my own salary! 

when i am 30, 40, or 50 years old, they will still be there for me... i really want to believe they will... there is always somewhere i am able to go back to... a place where i feel the love and comfort... they will be there when i need a place to hide... 

gosh, why am i doing this post again.. its so depressing...

I want to be able to spend more time with them... 

But being 3rd year and internship and thesis... 

im being such a bad granddaughter. fmyself. 

Short Update

I am currently editing pictures (adding watermark) for the Chicken Nest Bao post. It's 3.02am, and I am super hungry looking at the pictures. Zomgosh!! Anyway, sorry for the long delay, I took a while to procrastinate, and then when I finally decided I should start with the post, I then took two days to get the harddisk which is just on the table, another day to finally plug it in my computer, then an extra day to actually open the folders, and choose and copy the pictures, 1 day for the pictures to sit on the desktop as decorations, and finally, 1 day (I hope) to edit, and then God know how long I will take to start typing.

This short update should just end at the second sentence. Now everyone (who actually bothers to come to my blog) knows how much of a procrastinator I am.